Back at it....

Well, things have started to hit rock bottom again, so I figured it was time that I came back to start venting and clearing my mind. I would start writing in my journal, but I've been having major problems with my hand. 

It's been well over a year since I've tried to clear my mind and a lot has changed. I've had a different job for over a year, which I'm miserable at. I work and do a job that I can't stand, is no where in my job field, and is down right awful. 

I'm a little less than a year from graduating with my master's degree. I swear that with every class that I take, the more difficult it is becoming and the more frustrated I am.

We moved into a new house over a year ago, which is nice, but dealing with the same things is still just as bad. 

Two years ago, I lost my boyfriend. He broke things off because the fighting had gotten so bad that he couldn't handle it anymore. Yet he tells me that he never wanted to break up and that I made that decision, when I was the one that begged him to stay with me. Here we are, 2 years later, and I still have no clue where we stand. We see each other every weekend, some weekends I stay with him at his place. We literally do everything together, but he doesn't consider us back together. A lot of things have improved, and he is becoming more open and lovey to me. I stopped pushing the idea of what the label was, and I just learn to enjoy all of the time that we are still spending together. We just recently finished up our 4th concert season together and now the holidays are coming up. Thankfully, we have kept most of our traditions, even though things got pretty rocky for a while.

Overall, I'm over live. I feel like my depressions has come back 10 times harder, and I don't think I want to fix it. I stopped going to therapy, mainly because I don't really feel that it's doing anything for me. I honestly think that I need to make serious life changes in order to get better. I just don't now where to start without getting a job that I will like and help me advance my career.

I'm hoping (this time) to make this more regular in the hopes that it will help me start to feel better